Tag Archives: coaching

Can your best friend be your coach?


The word “coaching” literally means to transport someone from one place to another.  People use coaching to help them move forward and/or to create some kind of change.

A Coaching Conversation is a highly specialized conversation (or series of conversations) one person has with another.  The person who is the coach intends to produce a conversation that will benefit the other person, the client, in a way that relates to the clients learning, self-development and progress.  

How does this conversation differ from the one we have with our best friends over the garden wall, a cup of tea or a beer in the pub?  Continue reading


Preoccupation, be gone!

“How whole is your ‘whole life?'” is the name of the 8th Chapter of Susan Jeffers’ book Feel the Fear and do it anyway. The chapter serves as a reminder to us about perspective – about giving more attention to select areas of our lives, and far less to others. The areas that we focus on can become so significant that we base out identity there. We say ‘My work is my whole life’ or ‘My relationship is my whole life’. The risk we run is that, if we lose the thing upon which our whole life is based, our whole life might feel like it is falling apart. Along side this, even on a smaller scale, we can be absorbed, preoccupied and lose ourselves in select dramas of life that serve to distract us from other important areas. Continue reading

ProActive or ReActive? They both still Active!

Oftentimes it seems that the world urges us all to be proactive types.  We’re called on to self-motivate, initiate and get-started.  Yet, not all of us are natural initiates, some of us are wired as more reactionary people.  So, quite naturally, we might go about frustrating each other (“Hurry up, let’s go!”, “Hang on, I’m still thinking”) Now, if we can learn to speak each other’s language, as Shelle Rose Charvet points out in Words that Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence, we can beneficially influence each other, each other’s responses and behaviors.

Let’s look at the two patterns; Continue reading

On Hitting the Wall, or; The Crises of Meaning

Have you heard of a Psycho- synthesis? It was conceived by a Dr Roberto Assagioli in 1911.  Assagioli was a student of Freud who rebelled against Freud’s ’limited’ vision of man—suggesting that we possess a higher nature and asserting that much of the psychological dysfunction in the world stems from frustration or even desperation about the lack of meaning and purpose in our lives.  A psychosynthesis-viewpoint invites you search for meaning, to look at life as a developmental journey, to see the creative potential within each problem, to see obstacles as stepping stones and to imagine that we all have a purpose in life with challenges and obstacles to overcome in order to fulfil that purpose.

To demonstrate the point, I’ve collated and adapted this information from John Whitmore’s third edition of Coaching for Performance together with these two-dimensional graphical models which give a helpful visual of how or why, we experience this crises of meaning;  Continue reading

Can any One Word describe the Power of Exercising the Mind?

I’ve recently been inspired by this question asked of me by a colleague, “What is the one word that best describes the outcome of coaching and development for you?”. Dozens of words come to mind!  In my inspiration, I posed the same question to other coaching colleagues.  It seems they too were challenged to select just one word for the array of benefits that arise as a result of the coaching process. Still searching for my one word, my truth, I grabbed a copy of Mark Forstater’s book ’The living Wisdom of Socrates’, and found myself deep in the musings of one of the world’s most celebrated philosophers (dare I call him a Coach?) for over 2300 years.  Continue reading

Success Scales for Celebrating even small steps

ImageThe human psyche tends to recall first that which we ‘do not do’ before celebrating all that we ‘do do’.  Here is a simple, slick and effective tool to invite those whom your coach, and yourself, to celebrate each small step we take toward our success goals.  Emerging from the solution-focused disciplines of coaching and change, the so-called Scales Tools provide an elegant tool for tracking even small steps.

Here is a (simplified) example;  Continue reading

Living in the Spirit of Coaching

I am presently in negotiations to join into a collaboration arrangement with an international team of associate coaches.  Before I am offered the green light, my potential partners want the heads-up on my coaching philosophy.  They want to be sure that my philosophy aligns with that of the coaching group and with that of their high-profile clientele.  Being a philosopher by nature and a prolific collector of ideas, I am not short of  philosophies to share. (see some of them under the About Michelle button on my website at www.motivcoach.com).  In my research-rich-style, I love to explore the philosophies of other coaches whom I truly admire.  Amongst others, I want to share with you this wonderful insert from Ian McDermott & Wendy Jago’s book The Coaching Bible.  Chapter 15, called Living the spirit of Coaching, begins with this beautiful quote from Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Adventure;  Continue reading